WARNING THIS REVIEW CONTAINS FOUL LANGUAGE DUE TO THE OVERALL SHITTYNESS OF THE MOVIE REVIEWED.
Ah, the first week of summer vacation. What are four lovely girls that love showing off their shitty acting abilities and their love of baring their breasts, drinking margaritas and taking ecstasy to do? I know lets go to a rave because someone put a piece of paper on your windshield!
I can’t believe I actually sat through 78 minutes of a movie that makes Children Shouldn’t Play with Dead Things an Oscar worthy movie. This movie is by far the WORST movie I have ever seen in my past 25 years of movie watching experiences. This movie has ZERO good qualities. The only “Gore” in the movie is in the opening scene when a bare chested teen falls into what is by far the worst looking “razor wire” in cinematic history. All of the movies violent scenes take place off camera which I am normally a big advocate of if you cannot afford the special effects, this is just epic failure all around. The lighting and camera work is subpar. Imagine if the kids from Blair Witch Project teamed up with the lighting guys from Hostel. This movie actually looks like it was filmed on a Sony Handycam mini-DVD recorder.
So far I have not covered much of a plot and that is because there isn’t one. Basically after 8 minutes of the worst dialogue I have ever heard the four girls take an ecstasy pill and enter a rave that nobody is at, in which the girls soon realize the ecstasy was in fact a roofie and they all fall asleep. One by one they wake up, where they are stalked and rendered unconscious by “The Hunter” (Scott Hall) who takes them to “The Chef” (Nathan Todaro) who proceeds to dismember the coeds while they are alive because it makes the meat taste better. The Chef continually states that The Hunter eats the meat and doesn’t care what it tastes like but since he is a culinary genius he takes pride in what he prepares. The only recipe that we hear of is “Human Tongue on White Bread”, I’m not sure but I think even Rachel Ray could come up with something tastier than some skank whore’s tongue on some wonder bread.
As far as extras on the DVD there were a lot of options given but I got the DVD out of the player as fast as I could for fear of contaminating the rest of my library of films. From what the box says it has trailers to other movies from the Production Company as well as link to the myspace page of the production company. This movie is by far the worst pile of shit I have ever seen I am ashamed that I actually own this disc and it wasn’t a rental.
Deep frying one bad movie after another.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Following the email responses to the last post and from personal feelings. Southern Fried Horror will now be known as Southern Fried Movie. I am going complete "B" movie whether it is horror, comedy, drama or hybrids. I hope you my loyal fan base will stay here at SFM, as I have a lot in store. I just feel that by including more movies in the review database and more commentary on Hollywood in general I can reach a larger audience.
More to come later in the day.
More to come later in the day.