As I have stated in the past if there is one thing I love more than zombies its zombie chickens. Wait I don’t think I’ve ever said that but after last night’s viewing of Poultrygeist: Night of the Chicken Dead I sure am saying it now.
After the first 15 minutes of this movie I must say I almost (ALMOST) hit eject and said screw Brutal as Hell I can’t watch this crap. Something about watching Jason Yachanin who is an almost dead ringer for Clay Akin get fingered by a corpse made me want to stop reviewing movies all together. I am glad I stuck around however, I had no idea going into this movie that it was a musical. I just thought it was going to be a cheesy spoof movie on Poltergeist and Night of the Living Dead. I was laughing so hard during this movie I had to take two hits off my inhaler from laughing so hard. This movie is by far the BEST movie Kaufman has ever made and were talking about the guy that helped with Orgasmo and the Toxic Avenger Series. But onto the flick:
Our story opens with our main characters Arbie and Wendy making love in an old Native American graveyard, with the promise being made that when Wendy leaves for college she won’t change and will always love Arbie. Flash forward six months Wendy returns from college a lesbian with a knack for protesting chicken restaurants and targets the one Arbie works at, along with is friends Paco Bell (A homosexual Mexican), Humus (A proud Muslim woman), and Carl Jr (Inbred animal lover) the group works for Denny (token Militant black guy) who dreams of opening his own chain of restaurants one day named Dennys. I know for a fact someone right now is reading this going your shitting me, but no these are our characters love it or not.
Unfortunately for everyone the restaurant is built on that same Native American burial ground and the restless Indian spirits have merged with the restless chicken spirits and have began an epic revolt that I’m not sure if even Bruce Campbell could stop. Several songs and dances later the customers who have either eaten the tainted chicken or been pecked to death by the other zombie chickens start attacking the fast food chicken shack. This leaves our hapless heroes to try and defend the place for Truth Justice and American Chicken Shack, sort of. Lord knows if I had a job making $3.15 an hour I would want to defend it too!
Eventually with the help of Paco Bell who is now a Gay Mexican Sloppy Jose sandwich (once again I’m not making this up) our remaining heroes find a way to stop the evil zombie chickens but will they have enough time? Your going to have to pick up the DVD to find out, and this DVD is worth it. Just make sure you get the TROMA DVD and not the Chinese bootleg. Kaufman has a 15 minute speech at the beginning of the DVD explaining what is wrong with the bootleg and why you should always buy the authentic DVD, this alone is worth the asking price of the movie.
I can’t really say this is a 5 star movie, can’t really say it’s a 4 star either. But if you want a great get inebriated (whatever your method hey I don’t judge) this is the flick for you.
Beware Trailer is Not Safe For Work. Nice Ron Jeremy Cameo too.
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